I know how I feel
I’m not asking you to care
I’m asking you to feel what you feel
Because I feel it for you
Your silence betrays you
But anyway
That’s beside the point
Thats beside the real
I’m not asking you to be that either
I’m asking you to know that if you
Ever want to be you’re gonna have to
Process that energy
Feel that fire in hell
Do something for your heart
Stop pretending
But whatever though
Sometimes you just gotta be the
Pain that love can’t show
To be healed
and learn
The love you just know.
In time
We must grow.

I must confess, I don’t belong in
That world
I’m awkward
I’m unapologetically inquisitive
I think twice as fast as my speech
So my conversations are spontaneous
I hate social politics
I hate being in environments where
It’s a womans job to just be pretty
I’m not good at it
In fact I don’t belong in that world
Yet I still participate
I show up
In hopes that one day you’ll
Want to wonder where I’m going to disappear to
And right after midnight
You won’t invite me in your life
We will leave the ball
And create a world of our own
You don’t know yet
But you belong where
Your cool can be
The muse of me.

Do you know how many nights youll cry if someone else controls your life?

i have no fear greater than that, 

the inspiration behind my life 

is my chase for unprecedented freedom.

i dont just want any kind of freedom where i decided not to matter

or stand by my causes 

nor help those that i am capable of helping,

i want to prove that there are no constraints on the will to be free

except those who infringe upon free will.

whenever i slip into my fantasy world for too long

i am rudely awakened

by my own facade. 

by my own comfort zones

and my secret desire to be in complete control.

ill never have that,

so i might as well get free. 

and show myself how i really feel about life.

You never tried our luck

you only fucked it up.

runnin just because 

you like the speed

more than you were in love with me

before you cared about anything

that we talked about and dreamed.

and when id leave,

youd take too long to come after me

tug of war

you grounded me

and i had to learn that 

the world could

take my  best friend from me

make him the enemy that ill always need

the love that will always lead me

to the edge of where 

i shouldnt even be.

but you forgot 

i am your only me.

Never palmed,
But I feel you’re within grasp
When used to playing with sand
It slips through your hands
The greener grass must be picked
What side you on?
I dream of you
Because I’ve been given truth
I crossed a path or two
But I’ll find my way back to you.

There’s a whole lot of people who have learned to use words they don’t even have the courage to live by. Promoting things they have no real reason or meaning to be apart of. Just want to be apart of something so much that they’ve reduced the value of authenticity. Im catching myself more and more when I do that, and it is slowly alerting my life. We will see where this consciousness takes me.

Every woman should play Christina Aguilera’s “Loving Me For Me” every Sunday at dusk.

Im tryna get back to foreign coasts, 

i dont care if you know

dont care if you go 

but i think it should show

since you lookin for hoes

nigga gimme the dough

ill put on the show

you scared of it though

your fear seeped in my soul

too possessed

ill never let go

im gone & you know

is you friend or you foe

you down when it folds

the lovin is cold

the game is so old

you forgetting 

im Queenin it though.

Finally, ive stopped being who im not, 

in my own mind.

ive stop rationalizing my human need to belong

with my insatiable desire to have my perspective stand out.

im coming head on with my fears that maybe im not enough

or that there are already enough people doing what i too enjoy.

it does not matter, 

because the more you do something you enjoy

while simultaneously examining where your own expertise can take you

you realize that main goal is to arrive wherever you dream,

and of course, none of us really dream alone.

There are wonderful people wherever greatness shows up,

and it really does not matter what they wear.

it just matters where. 

I don’t feel anything like I’m numb to myself.

Oh I, once believed that deleted scenes
Were the same
as a normal person’s
Memories
Cause when theyre happening
No one knows they’ll one day
Mean nothing.
Or even be seen
We only see what’s meant to be.